And, yet, the part of the conversation that really got me was when I asked why. My friend said the mother’s reason was, “Well, we gotta get some sleep at SOME point.” UGHHHH.

Yes, sleep deprivation can take its toll. Yes, babies are a LOT of work. But, oh I don’t know what words to say! It just made me feel sick in the pit of my stomach to think of a lil’ baby crying from hunger and the parents putting their wants ahead of their child’s needs.

I actually enjoy the nighttime feeding. I just finished feeding Anna. I think she’s softer at night. It’s so quiet. Just me and her. I love the drunk look on her face as she eats. Eyes rolled back with her eyelids dozing. I remember enjoying those quiet moments with Sarah and Ellen, too.

Plus, what about a fresh dry bum? Ugh…I just don’t understand sometimes. And I don’t expect everyone to do everything the same. Four months just seemed wayyyy to young to be cut off from mama.

Well, fortunately I did get pregnant, and Anna is here to snuggle. I loved holding and snuggling with Sarah and Ellen when they were itty bittys, and even now I still smother them to the point of, “Moooooommmm stop it.”

But with Anna something is different. I don’t know if it’s the babywearing or the fact that after losing a baby I’m even more grateful to have her? Maybe it’s recent reminders of how quickly those we love can be gone, and that life is just so precious. Maybe it’s therapy for me on days that my hormones are out of whack? Or maybe it just feels good to snuggle with a sweet lil’ one. (And Anna is sweet. She is such a good baby. Calm, happy and peaceful. Could that be partly from the babywearing, too? It wouldn’t surprise me.)

I guess it doesn’t really matter. I know that it’s right. It’s good, and every parent should wear their baby. It’s not just a time saver and way to be hands free. It’s an awesome connection with your child. It’s soothing for both parent and child.

Every Monday the girls and I have a contest to see who can stay in their PJs the longest. Lately Anna has been winning.

Ahhh nothing like just stayin’ home and being a slug. Maybe I’ll get working on my napkins…gotta get the dust off that sewing machine. Maybe I’ll just do puzzles and read books with the girls.

I bought tickets for a wrap raffle. Not just any wrap. THE wrap I’ve been drooling over for months. THE wrap that I have wanted for Sarah to have for her children (if/when yadda yadda). THE wrap that isn’t available in stores/online at the time. THE wrap that costs and arm and a leg.

THE WRAP. A Didymos Silk Millefiori. Mmmmmm scrumptious, beautiful.

I lost the raffle. Boo hoo. I was bummed, but kinda figured I wouldn’t win. So, I went about my day.

Then a few hours later I received a message from the raffle winner saying she would send me the wrap. That she had read how I wanted the wrap as a legacy wrap for Sarah, and that she already had one. Needless to say I was absolutely floored. It literally took me about an hour to get my head on straight and focus on what I had to get done with the girls.

So, my little plan was to sell the Stone Millefiori that I “settled” for if I happened to win the raffle. But now I didn’t really win, and I just feel weird selling it when someone has been so generous to me.

So, the Stone Mille isn’t and won’t be for sale. It’s being folded gently and given to someone very special.

The world needs more of this. More wraps that is..more babies.. hee hee

I cannot believe it. I’m beside myself. I’m touched. It brought tears to my eyes and a big lump in my throat.

I’ll post details as soon as I get a chance. In the meantime I will be up on cloud nine.

WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!

The girls flipped when he walked through the door. The cat has been giving him the squawks. I got all teary when I got my hug. I’m such a sap.

I’m glad he’s home. He smells kinda funny and doesn’t move very quick in the mornings. But I’d rather have him here than not.

I’m not looking forward to his Japan trip. Ellen and I will have to brace for that one. Sarah will be excited just saying he’s in Japan, and proceed to describe where Japan is, how to get there and the history of Japanese culture.

It started after dropping Sarah off at school. Anna fussed the entire way to the store (20 minutes). She needed a dry diaper and food asap. I decide to take care of the details in the car because public bathrooms gross me out (especially changing tables) and I’d have somewhere to sit with Ellen contained while Anna ate. Less than 20 seconds after Anna latched on Ellen says, “I need to go potty.” Of course you do. Okay, off to the loo. Standing in line nursing Anna, Ellen is dancing and repeating, “Mommmmmmy I gotta gooooo.” None of the three people in front of us offered their spot in line. RUDE if you ask me. Come on, the sweet child needs to pee! Well, she finally got to go, and I was impressed she held it. And Anna must have been starving because she never unlatched. LOL

I thought I was in the clear. I was wrong.

So, there I am at the store trying to get the last of everything for Ellen’s birthday party. She decided today was a good day to pull donkey (she’s just a lil’ like yours truly and a bit stubborn at times). I stand my ground on our family rules even in public, even if it means she’s going to scream at me. So, I’m sure many of you have witnessed a kid screaming in public. I don’t think I need to paint the picture.

After getting back to the car, we headed to pick Sarah up from school. Anna fussed the whole drive, totally unlike her. And all I can think is, “What am I doing wrong?!?!” We get to Sarah’s school, and Anna had blasted herself with a major BM. UGH. School doors are locked. So I had to change a mega-nastoid in the car while Ellen grouched at me.

Well, long story short (I’ll skip the part about me getting a bloody nose on the way home), we finally all got home with our sparkles semi in tact. (Sometimes Ellen just needs a little time to cool down, and then she’s ready to conquer the world again.) Another dipe change for Anna, a little milk and then I pull out the wrap. She had napped in a pouch earlier today, but when she saw her wrap she looked at me and giggled. At least I’m doing something right. As soon as she got in she just snuggled right up and zonked out.

hmmmm….There’s got to be some chocolate around here somewhere…..Anna doesn’t like it, but it’s gonna be necessary to make it until bedtime today…

(Yes, only five because I’m tired and can’t think of 10 without getting all sappy.)

5. Alannah Miles,Black Velvet and Eurythmics, Sweet Dreams Best songs ever. John has teased me about these two songs since the day I met him. I stand my ground. They are possibly the two best songs ever written.

4. Atlas Shrugged & The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand I never did finish reading The Fountainhead. I love it so much I never wanted it to end.
3. Ben & Jerry’s Pistachio Pistachio
2. Sunrise & coffee
1. Mac OS X